• “Look Up–And Die!”

    Okay, so when you see the words “Look Up–And Die!” painted on the wall in letters large enough to be read across the street, clearly the right play to make is to not walk up to it and look up.

  • Another Most Ignoble Demise.

    Wait, wait, let’s do the math on this one!

    Google tells me a typical tire is two feet in diameter, which is ~840 revolutions per mile. We’ll be generous and assume that this car is only traveling 30mph in a speed zone or something, which gives us 420 (I did not plan that) revolutions per minute, which is 7 revolutions per second.

    So he has maybe a quarter of a rotation before he’s dead, which gives him–you know what, fuck it. The poor bastard’s dead before he even completes that thought.

  • Sweeny Frog.

    I’ve actually never seen Sweeny Todd, so I have no snide comments to make besides something like… “Watch out, the way he’s swinging that razor!”

    But I think you’ll all agree that’s simply subpar.

    Unsourced

  • “The Batman Puppet!”

    So let me see if I have this straight…

    Someone with the power to compel Batman to reveal his secret identity decided the best way to accomplish this was to have Batman call a press conference in an art museum so he can paint a self-portrait?

    Yeah, that checks out.

  • Chaos Emerald Z.

    Sure, we all knew Super Sonic was an homage to Super Saiyans, but this feels a bit on the nose.

    Source