Before There Was Superdickery, There Were Legends of Batman…

The Legends of Batman is a series of short stories I wrote sometime around 2003.  They are all terrible, which I am sad to say was only partly intentional.  It is supposed to be self-aware satire of awful fan-fiction, but mostly these days just comes off as the inchoate ranting of some emo/goth/scenester (or whatever the current vernacular is for kids dressing in black and wearing trench coats is) teenager with anger issues.  This is particularly sad, because I wrote them in my 20’s.

These were all very stream-of-consciousness, anecdotal stories with no proofreading or iterative drafts.  I have tidied them up a bit to fix the more glaring errors, but frankly they are still just embarrassing these days, especially some mild homophobia and misogyny that made it through.  And Christ, the usage of all caps for emphasis.  Ugh.   Please do not think them indicative of my overall writing ability or reflective of my current worldview, I disavow practically everything here.

They were originally posted on a message board, and there are a few instances where I have attempted to replicate the format where it’s necessary or relevant.  Some of it is probably very inside jokey that will not make sense outside of having been part of the same online community where I posted it, but I am including it here for the sake of completeness.

The thread I originally posted these to was lost when the message board’s database went corrupt. But by bizarre happenstance, I found that someone on some completely unrelated board I’d never heard of or been to had been compiling them, so I was able to save them for posterity.  I am sure some would argue whether they were worth saving for posterity in the first place, but I did spend a fair amount of time writing these.  For better or for worse, this was the foundational work that eventually gave rise to Superdickery as everyone knows it, and I did not want that effort lost forever.

Enjoy!

Or don’t.

Whatever.